I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
