After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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