first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
