don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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