just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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