no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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