I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Swine flu is the new snow day.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
