I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
