Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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