He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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