somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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