Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
