This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
