Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
