We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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