You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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