you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
