do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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