I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
