She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
don't judge my taste in strippers
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
