Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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