I'm so fucking centered right now
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
