so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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