just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
