Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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