Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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