hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
