He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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