I hate all girls vehemently.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize