they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
