somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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