I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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