K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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