Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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