I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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