so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
