also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
