are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize