I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
