he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
