Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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