This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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