You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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