i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
