Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
