P.S. I can't hear my feet
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I got inside last night via doggy door
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize