My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
