Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
