Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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