You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
