Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
