You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
