remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
