my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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