We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
