Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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