Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
