Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Randomize
