just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
