...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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