Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
