Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He? As in you personified your dick?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
