i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
