Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
