When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize