Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
