no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
