she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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