Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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