Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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