He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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