i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize