Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize